The BGA

So I sort of dropped the ball last week when I
began that posting about all of these gossipy things, particularly with respect
to Mark Foley, but I figured if you were reading my post and were that
interested you find the goods yourself.

If you didn’t, and you’re still curious, here’s
the abbreviated Para phrasal of his internet antics.:

MF- you so sexy child, tell me ‘bout yo’self

Boy Page-I like to jerk off face down on the
bed

MF-Cool.

MF- are you hard now

BP- Sort of

MF- Cool

And then after all that a former page confessed
that he had consensual adult sex with Foley when he was in college. This made a
lot of press, I’m not quite sure why, MF had already acknowledged that he was a
pole smoker, and the former page was legal age at the time, and no longer a
page, he was just a trick ho who wanted some capitol hill ass.

Anyways the whole Mark Foley is a perv thing is
sort of tired, no?

And what’s really tired and pretty effing
annoying is the whole I have a drinking problem, I’m gay rationalization he
threw out after the scandal broke. Being a drunk and or a homo does not a
sexual predator make. Being a horned up kid lover who thinks it’s about that
time maybe, so lets not loose site of that.

Regardless, gossip aside it’s been a pretty odd
week and I’m finding it pretty difficult to keep my head on track. The duration
of my happy optimistic enthusiastic vs. hopeless demoralized, completely lost
mood swings is getting smaller, this is to say I’m rapid cycling between
‘things are gonna get better’ and ‘I wanna die.’ Today unfortch finding me
humming the latter through easy tears as I read about the liberal leadership
convention…. What gives you ask? Well wouldn’t you like to know, I for one
would.

I went back to MTL last weekend for thanks
giving and I got to visit with Lanni and B. We laughed and vented about the
relative uselessness of our educations. In all fairness we agreed that there
were abilities we had honed in school but as far as realistically being able to
retain employment in our fields with these ‘educations’ that we would have to
contend with the giant gaps in what would presumably be our skill set coming
out of the degree program we graduated from. (We also agreed that my favorite
way of communicating is in run-on sentences.)

I’m just frustrated that after four years in a
photo program that I’m still under qualified to be a god damn assistant. I’m
not up to par to be a goddamned under paid helper. It’s almost like the ethos
of our school was art or nothing if you can’t support yourself through grants
or sales of your ‘art’ work you should be a waiter (or a teacher).

I’m 25 and I got bills to pay, and I don’t even
know if I like art anymore….

I want a J.O.B. and not as a call center rep,
not as a sever, not as a clothing sales person.

I know I moan a lot on this page, and I’m sure
you’ve all read or heard me going on about how much I wish I could have been
born filthy rich or at least have a parent in the industry I want to work in so
that I could make nepotism work for me, cause as it stands nepo is the name of
my game, only I’m not all that interested in the steel forgings and castings
game.

Anyways all I can say is that I hope tomorrow
finds me on the up swing, and I hope my shitty c.v. and sample images can get
me this no pay job I’m going to try and find time for, and that in the end it
will all work out.

I guess the real scary truth is that I can’t
imagine myself doing any of the things I like for a full careers worth of time.
I can only imagine myself getting sick of everything one by one, and surely I
wont be able to take on some unpaid internship every time I want to jump ship. I
can’t think of another way for the world to work that might be more accommodating
to my ADD but I know this one aint it. But then again blaming and moaning about
the way the world works seems kind of lame, cause it’s just a distraction from
the fact that I have no choice but to cope.

I just really wish I had
a big ass fortune.

This entry was posted on Monday, October 16th, 2006 at 9:31 am and is filed under desperate pleas. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.