The BGA

So First she didn’t and then she did, and then
she couldn’t and then Oh no she di’ent!

But now it looks as though she has… or will.

Malawian baby David, in who pop super star
Maballah had shown interest in (adopting that is) has now officially (according
to BBC online… that’s where I read it) lifted off Malawian soil and is headed
for his new home with little Lola and Rocco to be a chocolate chip in Madges
banana loaf family. Good deed or not, public relations stunt, marriage
band-aid, or an Angelina like desire to ‘heal the world’ the fact remains that
some poor ass orphan is gonna get to grow up filthy stinkin rich. Fuck, if
Mabs’ PR bitch told her that adopting 25-year-old Canadian homos would revive
her career, I’d be first in line to become her chosen progeny.

So now all these Malawians are all up
in arms about ‘how dare Madonna be allowed to ignore the laws of Malawi (where
there is a mandatory 18 month waiting period between applying for adoption, and
obtaining custody of the adopted child) and be given custody after only a two
week period’ and I say ‘true dat’, she shouldn’t be above the law, but then I
say: “hear me now!” Maballah is well rich, and her 2 other kids look well taken
care of and relatively happy. I also say money or no money, crazy, uptight, or laid-back
hippy; most parents raise at least one neurotic freak (that would be me in my
family.) David is going to have it just fine, and while breaking the rules isn’t
good for upholding the rules, would it not be more tragic to be baby David and
make it so close to being a rich ass mofo and be hauled back to some orphanage
than to say, yeah we loved the material girl when we were like 12, and if she
wants to buy one of our babies, shit yeah she can.

I’m not some Madonna freak, in fact I think she’s
a bit of a twat, but I will never stand in the way of rags to riches, unless the
riches belong to a pervy molester.

I wish David the best
of luck with his new family, and I do hope when he learns to read that he
somehow finds this post and decides that I deserve a cash reward for fighting
for his right to party with Shiloh.

So I sort of dropped the ball last week when I
began that posting about all of these gossipy things, particularly with respect
to Mark Foley, but I figured if you were reading my post and were that
interested you find the goods yourself.

If you didn’t, and you’re still curious, here’s
the abbreviated Para phrasal of his internet antics.:

MF- you so sexy child, tell me ‘bout yo’self

Boy Page-I like to jerk off face down on the
bed

MF-Cool.

MF- are you hard now

BP- Sort of

MF- Cool

And then after all that a former page confessed
that he had consensual adult sex with Foley when he was in college. This made a
lot of press, I’m not quite sure why, MF had already acknowledged that he was a
pole smoker, and the former page was legal age at the time, and no longer a
page, he was just a trick ho who wanted some capitol hill ass.

Anyways the whole Mark Foley is a perv thing is
sort of tired, no?

And what’s really tired and pretty effing
annoying is the whole I have a drinking problem, I’m gay rationalization he
threw out after the scandal broke. Being a drunk and or a homo does not a
sexual predator make. Being a horned up kid lover who thinks it’s about that
time maybe, so lets not loose site of that.

Regardless, gossip aside it’s been a pretty odd
week and I’m finding it pretty difficult to keep my head on track. The duration
of my happy optimistic enthusiastic vs. hopeless demoralized, completely lost
mood swings is getting smaller, this is to say I’m rapid cycling between
‘things are gonna get better’ and ‘I wanna die.’ Today unfortch finding me
humming the latter through easy tears as I read about the liberal leadership
convention…. What gives you ask? Well wouldn’t you like to know, I for one
would.

I went back to MTL last weekend for thanks
giving and I got to visit with Lanni and B. We laughed and vented about the
relative uselessness of our educations. In all fairness we agreed that there
were abilities we had honed in school but as far as realistically being able to
retain employment in our fields with these ‘educations’ that we would have to
contend with the giant gaps in what would presumably be our skill set coming
out of the degree program we graduated from. (We also agreed that my favorite
way of communicating is in run-on sentences.)

I’m just frustrated that after four years in a
photo program that I’m still under qualified to be a god damn assistant. I’m
not up to par to be a goddamned under paid helper. It’s almost like the ethos
of our school was art or nothing if you can’t support yourself through grants
or sales of your ‘art’ work you should be a waiter (or a teacher).

I’m 25 and I got bills to pay, and I don’t even
know if I like art anymore….

I want a J.O.B. and not as a call center rep,
not as a sever, not as a clothing sales person.

I know I moan a lot on this page, and I’m sure
you’ve all read or heard me going on about how much I wish I could have been
born filthy rich or at least have a parent in the industry I want to work in so
that I could make nepotism work for me, cause as it stands nepo is the name of
my game, only I’m not all that interested in the steel forgings and castings
game.

Anyways all I can say is that I hope tomorrow
finds me on the up swing, and I hope my shitty c.v. and sample images can get
me this no pay job I’m going to try and find time for, and that in the end it
will all work out.

I guess the real scary truth is that I can’t
imagine myself doing any of the things I like for a full careers worth of time.
I can only imagine myself getting sick of everything one by one, and surely I
wont be able to take on some unpaid internship every time I want to jump ship. I
can’t think of another way for the world to work that might be more accommodating
to my ADD but I know this one aint it. But then again blaming and moaning about
the way the world works seems kind of lame, cause it’s just a distraction from
the fact that I have no choice but to cope.

I just really wish I had
a big ass fortune.

It has been a very long time since I last posted and all I can think is that poor Marissa must have been going near crazy and beside herself on all of those sleepless nights without my misspelled sarcasm and poor use of ellipses to keep her company. Missy, I’m sorry.
A lot has gone down since we last spoke, fuck a lot has happened since this weekend, and i’ve got pictures to prove it.
I don’t know where to start and I fear that given the climate at work today (a lot of stop and start if you know what I mean) that it will take me several "coffee breaks" to get this post out in it’s entirety.
So Im gonna list off all the things there are to talk about and then come back and get to em individge, k?

Beyonce actually not in control of her image for once.
Cameron Diaz has nipples, well at least 1.
A lot of people have been getting killed at school in the last couple weeks
Senetor pedophile’s pervy/kinda hot IM transcripts…
Peenalop Cruz, beard for hire, is at it again… I told yall he was gay….
and I took a trip to Portugal…. it was hell.
And Kelis  and Nas have a new reality show (W.T.F!)
see you all after lunch

so by now, I sure you’ve all seen the images all over the internet of Beyonce in one of her favoured ‘up the coochie’ numbers (green sequin sparkle to be precise) partying it up with Chris Martin and Gwynks for her 34th (Gwynk’s, not B’s) and getting all messy (no doubt the best gift our dear Mrs. Poutrow Martin could have asked for from her million gods of shakraland and kabalah water.)
Seems as though all work and no play makes press ready Beyonce a dull dull girl, and a little play and some roofies make her a hell of a lot more fun… to laugh at. My favourite part is the look in Jay Z’s face as he sits (seemingly miles away from her) beside her in the limo on the way home.
I’ll hand this one thing to B, she avoided the trashy notoriety of having her cooter posted all over everywhere by passing out with her hands clasped up in there eliminating any crotch eyed views of the descending pap photogs.
Word to the wise, Beyonce don’t let us down, you have up until this point been the perfect example of a well behaved black girl (minus the pony hair and general lack of intelligence) there’s a reason you don’t have duets with Lil’ Kim, lets keep it that way, I thought you was a Christian.

As Far as Cam D’s titties are concerned click the pic above and see her nipple, sort of. It’s no big news, and Cam’s got a nice set, just sort of ironic after she had that big court case to keep her tits off the internet and out of peoples eyeshot and now she’s been foiled by some fashion mag, that will no doubt be hitting her hard with an airbrush come publication time, sheck her gut! 3 words, Fat ass Pig. No wonder JT prefers kissing his dogs. 
No but for real, I like Cam D, she’s cute. I forgive her her weight gain.

Also there’s been alot of killing maming and abusing going on in schools lately what gives. I saw this article in NOW where the author was all like ‘lets call this what it is adolescent male aggression,’ fine call it that if you must, but what the fuck gives?  actually, i’m not going to go far into that, it’s not the right tone for all the other trite I have in store, just give the teenage shootouts and molestations a rest will you.

and on the note of molestation, Lets talk a bit about Congressman Mark Foley