The BGA

So last night was the not so dramatic
conclusion to a lack luster season of Americas Next Top Best Friend, I mean
Model. This season was pretty tame in comparison to previous years where the
drama in the house was always more exciting than the results of the photo
shoots. This year it was bland sorority style bullshit between the exciting
photos. In fact last night when it was down to the final two Tyra was like
“shit girl these are the best pictures we’ve had since the show started” what
she neglected to say was, this is the first year where they’ve consistently had
product endorsement paying for every single shoot.

Jade and Furonda where the only girls who were
bringin it to the show; the only ones who knew how to stir shit. Danielle bless
her sweet southern heart was the picture of patience and a steer clear of
trouble attitude. I loved the girl and
if we consider health problems to be drama than she brought her share, but to
be honest I mostly liked her for her pictures and resilience. Sure I respect her,
sort of, but she wasn’t as entertaining as some. And Joanie… well, here’s the
thing: she could deliver great photos, but her chin is an ugly shape, her whole
face it’s shaped weird, she looks fat and jowley. Not to mention her
personality was about as phony as Lee press on nails. She had her moments but
she was too convinced that she had what nobody else did, she was really just as
bad as Jade, but she was a total pussy about it, she’d do all this behind the
scenes political shit, but never come out and say I think I’m better than you,
she’d go the “I don’t think she’s good enough” route but never assert
what she evidently felt was her own superiority over the other contestants.
Jade may have been arrogant, ignorant and somewhat delusional about how great
she was but at least she was honest she put herself forward unguarded so we
could be entertained and judge the hell out of her. For instance, I love how
every time people tell her she sucks she just shakes her head as if to say: you
just don’t understand, and she was right they didn’t.

To be honest I felt she understood ANTM better
than most, better than even some of the viewers of the show, who may have been
persuaded to dislike jade for the wrong reasons. She said it best in episode 4; “this is not America’s Next Top
Best Friend…” it is a modeling competition, and flat out excluding the elephant
and ice queen pictures Jade could deliver. Sure some may not appreciate her
beauty (my elder sister refers to her as skeletor, something about the
pronounced cheekbones) but I thought from the beginning she was one of the
prettiest girls (don’t get me wrong Danielle is way prettier) but Jade is
pretty, photogenic, and pretty good at modeling.

So who do we send home? The Host who thinks she
knows it all and compulsively doles out the wisdom like the modeling dali lamma
(and you know how I feel about him)

Or the contestant who thinks she knows better?

Well my verdict is in, Tyra, thank you so much
for six wonderful season, it was great concept and whichever person brought it
to you, so you could bring it to us, thank you so much, but I think you need to
pass the torch along, lets give some other retired 90’s era models a chance to
host a T.V. I bet Linda Evangelista has a lot of bitch in her, or maybe Cindy
Crawford? Obviously Kate Moss would be the ideal, but she’s so above Network
television. Naomi would inevitably assault someone and that would be no good,
Liz Hurley was really good on project Catwalk, but she just got canned, not to
mention she has never been a particularly good model (or even pretty). Gisele
doesn’t speak enough English, Turlington seems to sweet Oh there that Seymour
girl the one who used to be married to Axl Rose, she’s got to have some edge
left in her and she’s hot.

Anyways here are some
more pictures of the ANTM final 3, Congratulations Danielle, I hope to see you
in print soon.  Daniell 1st place then there was Joanie in Second and Jade in 3rd.
While we’re still on the topic,
don’t forget that beginning May 31st we are indeed as Jay Emanuel Likes to
remind us, getting our own top model here in Canada. Hosted by Battlestar
Gallactica’s freaky Machiavellian Mephistoefilian Cylone #6, Tricia Helpher who
began her career as a model in Saskatchewan.

This entry was posted on Thursday, May 18th, 2006 at 11:32 am and is filed under not being fat. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.