The BGA

Back in 1999 Beyonce, Kelly  and now ex-D.C. members Latavia and Latoya, pondered as to how their imaginary philandering boyfriend would feel if they "come over with [their] clique."   The only thing less enticing than being on the inside of Beyonce and company’s inner circle, is being on the receiving end of their idiotic hostility. What remains frightening about the thought of the "coming over with their clique" is the clique, not Beyonce, as she would clearly not be breaking a nail let alone allowing one of those pony hairs stitched into her scalp to move an inch. But the idea of some strong group of angry bitches who don’t wanna be my friends. cliques are intimidating cause you’re not in them.

Be it a sorority, a posse of angry humiliated teenagers or twenty-something queer radicals, cliques are mean exclusive and judgemental, some more hostile than other, but above all their loyalty extends only to their own members.

I loved that "say my name" song when i was 18, cause i was in a clique, and some of my friends were really badass, for a performing arts catholic high school. I relished signing along to that very line knowing that if i weren’t a fat reject, and had a boyfriend who took me for granted i would be able to utter those very words to him, and appear ready to kick ass, with my assembled friends brandishing our instruments from band and whatnot outside of his place busting a "yeah yeah, yeah yeah…"

Now i hate cliques cause i’m twenty three and i have no friends, and though i’m not fat i still dont have a boyfriend to take me for granted, and when my little sister does, i cry like a premenstrual 14 year old.

But if i could have an ideal clique here’s who would be included:

Rose, Kate, Catto, Christine, Julie, Haig, Arwa, Krista!, Vanessa, Meagan, Zach, Geoff, Sarah b Tyler (cause i still wanna turn him gay for one night) Miriam, Ami, dirks and matt law, patrick lundeen, Lani, Shan and Dan and Chanda… oh and CIARA, cause i bet she could put a serious hurt on someone. 

if your not on the list, please feel a little left out cause othertwise theres no real point to being in a clique.

BGA

I just found this pic of Lauryn Hill, not busting a self rightious acoustic sermon, with Wyclef, billed as the reassembled Fugees!!!!! could this mean we will soon be getting re-aquainted with the side of Lauryn Hill that makes wicked thoughtfull jams that don’t make you feel dirrty and used in a cultish way, and putting cool clothes on again, horray!!! 

Mtv.com had this to say of the band’s performance at the BET awards, (damn i wish i had cable):

The once-feuding Fugees kicked off the show with an unannounced medley of "Ready or Not," "Fu-Gee-La" and "Killing Me Softly." "We’ve been in the studio," Pras said before the show. "We’re trying to figure out how we gonna do it."

Check out this retarded performance at the BET website, select view clips:

http://www.bet.com/

and aint that wig cute

There were rumours that she was busting a kanye west collabo, which seemed fitting, especially considering Kanyes hit "all comes down" origionally featured Hill singing the hook (a sample from one of her songs from that time she got food poisoning and mistook her cramps for the word of jah and desided to take her condescention to mtv, and forgot the beat programmer)

anyways one way or anthother i am damn excited to hear from her again, cause i’m getting bored. except for Ciara, who i love.

Ciara i want to be your friend.

also from the BET award show, Jada Pinkett (she hosted the show and had guidelines for acceptance speeches) actually is funny: "And do not thank God if you can’t perform your work in church."

BGA

This Sunday is the 25th anniversary of Tornto’s gay pride parade, which began as a large scale protest against police intrusion into the sex lives of dirty fagotts and dykes 25 years ago. Although the toronto gay pride page has decided to overlook this little tidbit.  Back in the day a bunch of cock hungry perverts were dragged out into the streets mid-fuck to be humiliated and arrested, which of course is wrong, cause we should all have the right to be nasty freaks with a taste for violence and semen or in the case of my carpet munching sisters, pussy juice. anyways now its a full blown money making extravaganza! we’ve come a long way baby!

but all ambivalent humour aside… there is a lot of compromise in ostencible ‘cultural acceptance’ innt it? Gay pride is supposed to be…. well i guess who is really to say what it’s supposed to be, things change as time goes on. But there are larger issues at stake in celebrating gay pride than there are in booking a cottage for may 2-4 n’es pas? Considering homophobia is still rampant, in our legislature, media representation, school curiculum, and in the streets, it’s a little more important to be like all proud and remind people that humans are humans (omg, please forgive me, i was at my parents house last week, and i watched oprah for like 10 minutes, but the residual, ‘inspiration’ vernacular has caught).

but thats not what pride parade and beer tents are about, molsons gay pride in toronto is like the gay santa clause, it’s a ruse. I’ve never learnt anything pertinent to queer politics at gay pride, and i’m sure that the owness is on me to seek it out. but my point is what are we gaining other that an economic boost for the commerce involved (and maybe a lay) from celebrating beer soaked pride? the right to watch middle class white guys play gay and act judgemental on prime time? fewer complaints when muschu barton goes all girly kiss on season 2 of the O.C.? the right to join into the cultural farce that is marriage and divorce?

There certainly are some activities that transpire during pride week which are important or rather make big efforts to benefit dirty filthy thieving gays, like aids run, i dont know any others… dyke march… Vazaleen?

all i’m trying to say is a good time is kick ass, but if let ourselves be too confused, we turn our big week into a big party we’re loosing our chance to actually make changes, without having to placate to the big demographics, or advertisers, and all that crap, this is our i’m not going to compromise week, so dont compromise yourself, except in lewd sex acts that leave you feeling degraded and ready for more…

Happy perverts week to all my dirty dykes, slutty fagotts, trans bitches (ftm & mtf), all you other goo guzzling variations on a theme and of course all you untrustworthy bi-sexuals…

p.s. this a warning to the sensitive lesbos of the t dot this woman, jess is mean and immature, she’ll treat you bad and try to make you feel creepy in public, but what she didnt know is that i am also mean and immature and i’ll spread the word like disease, DO NOT TRUST JESS.

anyways i love you all, except jess.

BGA.

I wish God would send some help to Zach. Zach is a 16 year old boy in memphis whose parents have busted a "but I’m a cheerleader" typer re-sexualisation cure the gay kid, program for fundi christians. he’s been keeping a secret BLOG on my space that details how he came out to his parents, and how they promptly found all sorts of problems with his attitude and enrolled him at the Refuge aka camp brainwash.
His story is scarry and sad. he lists all the "rules" he’s supposed to follow, and how his mother has been berating him with slander and all sorts of creepy shit. I just don’t understand how camps like this can exist. The guidelines of this sort of reform camp clearly advocate child abuse, so how come there has been no legislative intervention? If anyone still reads this piece of crap blog, and happens to know a good lawyer or law firm, tell themn to get on this shit. make "camp wish you were straight" illigal!

In the meantime send him naked pictures of hot boys, those christians have had him for a couple weeks, and I think we need to start re-trainning him.

love for all the little fagitts, BGA

Ciara is the bomb, and i love her; she can dance, she’s cute, she can sort of sing, she can really dance, and i want to be her friend more than Mary Kate Olsen or J Lo combined. but for real her album, her attitude, her style,(find me in a pair of air force ones and some blue jeans, i’m not a gown and pupms kinda girl.) and her thighs, shit.

http://bostonrap.com/ciara-interview.htm

I especially love how she doesnt come across as an attention hungry freak who will morph her image or personality for more press coverage like say jessica simpson, beyonce, lindsey lohan, paris or any ofthe other morons who are everywhere.

I hate jessica simpson, she’s retarded, and stupid and self involved (which wouldnt bother me if she for one second awknowleged how selfish and spoiled she is) and shes ugly. ok her body is okay but her grill is hurting.

Above all the stupid things about her i hate, the worst is her allged talent. Simpson, like her ugly little sister is talentless, and only has a career cause her crazy coked up father is as intimidating and overbaring with industry insiders as he is with his children, but back to the point, i hate her phony talent.

She cannot sing, she sucks at singing and her songs are amoung the worst ever played on the radio, and that includes ricky martin. her voice sounds like a horny 4 year old, i hate that whimpering whiney wisper shit she does. that bitch should stay out of the mainstream and stick to snuff porn.

anyways i’m just pissed cause shes so gross and everyone seems to love her. Ciara is way better and nobody knows who she is, except for 13 year olds.

anyways i think you should all go check out ciara’s videos an dthe missy joint she’s in cause Ciara has the skillz to pay the billz.http://www.ciaraworld.com/

I love you C.

BGA

I was raised Catholic. I went to mass every sunday, and did cathecism classes each week until i was like 11. For junior high I enrolled in a catholic school (chosen strictly on the basis that God’s children got to have a huge sprawling playground with trees and hills, whereas the heathens only had concrete) and as my faith dwindled the churches presence in my life grew larger. At fifteen I was done with God, mostly and i really liked Marilyn Manson, Nine Inch Nails and Garbage(???) and i was a fat wannabe goth. I came to my senses when Missy droped her first solo LP’ ‘Supa Dupa Fly’ i didn’t go all christian or anything, but there is a lot of thanking God on most hiphop R&B recordings, as opposed to angry white kids who blame God for all their problems. Anyways my beef seemed to fall properly into place, I don’t blame God, I blame all the people who think that they’re God, all the people who push their self-rightious moral agendas on people because of their own internal struggle with being a freak of nature.

but so not the point.

At this point in my life i couldn’t say if there is a God or not, but I also think it is immaterial, that is to say, it doesn’t change the way i want to live my life.  but i was watching this show: ‘Carnival’ it’s pretty interesting, and among other intertwined narratives is a question of service to God. One character says he is God left hand, God’s will made flesh(the verdict is still out on that one, but he does have some very special powers that would make Buffy jealous fo sho) and in one episode the carnies were justifying preying on peoples despertaion (they hosted an evangelical review and billed a young man as a healer) by saying that they were delivering Gods message of insperation to the people, and though they would not be healing any of the towns people the fake healing they did was enough to shake up the spirits of those who were ready to loose faith. Fair enough that makes sense.

I dont know why but watching this show made me think of like fifty cent and jodeci and like dmx and all the other people who make pop music about drugs, violence, sexual exploitation and the abject treatment of women and how when they win awards at like the grammys n shit the first thing they do is thank God.

Are they Gods messengers? is it as simple as saying these people stir the spirits of those who feel they have no hope, and who see that: one day they too can get rich do lots of drugs, pay for lots of prostitutes and have enough left over to hire protection?  regardless, i dont get inspired by any of them save for some jodeci tracks.

I do think, however, that : M.I.A. was sent from God, So were the Hidden Camereas, and Ciara, and David Suzuki, and Amy & David Sedaris, and Nas.

BGA

OMG, Missy has done it again. did we doubt? yes maybe a little bit, i mean she comes out with so many songs so often its hard to believe that she wont at some point run out of good material, but consistently her albums kick ass. The Cookbook promises to be no exception (if it’s first two singles are any indication of the albums content)

First off, Missy is smart, she’s all up in Ciaras mix, and P.S. Ciara is pound for pound the coolest pop singer around right now, her tracks kick ass, her dance is retarded, and she’s hot. second she shook off her old formula, Timberland makes a dope beat she works it out, her two first songs are very not timberland tracks,  Loose controll is a fat man scoop style bit with Ciara, and the other song ‘on &on’ is a crazy neptunes concotion of nintendo sounds and cartoon effects. ok enough gushing. check out the video for yourself: http://www.missy-elliott.com/

bga

Working out sucks. I hate it. No matter how long you do it for, no matter how disciplined you are it never gets any easier, you just look better doing it. I am lazy and would rather not be involved in any strenuous muscle building activity, except for the fact that I’m tall as a bitch and my muscles are a joke. There are also my tear shaped breasts to consider.

Up until now I had chosen what I thought may be an alternative to being fit, which is: being skinny. And still this is a struggle. Unlike Lindsey Lohan  I do not have enough cash to spend on copious amounts of crack, and no matter how emaciated I become, these tits aren’t budging.

Call me shallow, call me weak, say I have no will power, or that I’m a coward, all of these things are true. And without ignoring my own personal responsibly to myself and my body, I have got to say, I am to an extent a product of my culture. You can’t expect people (me) to sit by idly watching the ‘hottie’ parade without getting involved (becoming a bona fide hottie) or developing a full blown body image problem. Except for all you fuckers out there are just happy with what you’ve got, good for you. I want more, or less maybe.

The shit part about perfect bodies, is that their not the same as say the perfect pair of jeans, or the perfect coffee table, one cant just pay once and be done with it, they require constant and continuous upkeep and discipline, eeeeeeww. And if your get hot regime is not completely self sufficient (as my current one is) it’s also damned expensive. Back when I joined the cult of designer yoga, I paid a pretty penny to align my chakras (and nearly disconnect all my vertebras) in a piping hot room. Though I enjoyed the subtle muscle tone I developed, and staring deep into my own eyes for an hour and a half, I certainly did not enjoy not being able to afford groceries (even if starvation helped make my minute muscles seem to pop more, it was short lived as my body quickly began to eat away at them saving my pesky fat deposits for a rainy day in the future or a plastic surgeon whatever comes first.)

Anyways I want one of these   (see photos below… if they are able to post)     and I want to be a celebrity, and rich, and happy, and get lots of sex from lots of different hot people, at once, and not feel like the fatty who slipped past the bouncers.

Mehh. bga

Arno is being all sensitive cause I keep telling him not to touch me. I guess i feel like an only child today. I love arno and I especially love being touched, I’m a Leo, as far as I’m concerned there’s no such thing as inappropriate petting. But today, i just wanted to read in peace. But I do love little Arnie, c’est mon petit nain.

Speaking of little elves,  I’ve spoken a couple times with my dear sweet Nissa and she loves Japan. She’s stalking a boy at a flower shop. for more information send the pretty lady an e-mail@ dearnissa@hotmail.com

So watching entire seasons of America’s next top model is finally paying off. Despite an obvious case of retardation, Tyra Banks and her gang of faguits (n, pl; Fah-gweets) do give some good advice about taking a fashion photo, particularly the ‘you look dead behind the eyes’ thing. Anyways I was applying all of their criticism and trying to copy the actual images yesterday when I was photographing Zach for his modeling/acting portfolio. Now, for the avid readers, pardon me, reader (singular) this name may ring a bell, if you were fast and read the post "the bombs to make you blow" before i chickened out and deleted the revealing parts,  you’ll remeber me having an ambivalent crush on this tender morcil, but feeling torn between a relationship with all sorts of baggage and that brings out the insecure in me, but excites even my unconscious mind (you’ll remember the dream, the one were i went between making out with Gif, my other crush, and straddling & mackin’ hard on Zach) anyways we spent the day the best way i could have imagined. ME in a position of power and he as my subordinant… sort of.

giving him instructions, nay orders, and he following. mmmmmmmm. So my first order was that he not wear much in the way of clothing, i felt it was important that I, I mean the casting agents, see his (hot) body, after i greesed him up with oil and did a couple different set ups with a bathing suit, I decided what was really needed would be some nude photos, I mean not like "here’s the salsicce," more like, "move that godamn legg and lemme see what we’re workin with" (p.s. boys we’re workin with a really nice ‘bite’ as the fench say) here is a jpeg of a digital done during the shoot to give him an idea of what we were doing, … shit the computer is not letting me post it, what a cunt… it did the same thing with the photo of tyra banks i tried to clip on to the last post… dirty fuckers. I’ll try to post it tomorrow.

Anyways it was fun, aside from accidentaly gooing up my knickers a bit litteraly. (we finished the shoot, and i was like whats that shit on my leg and observed a string of gooey pre-cum, dangelling between my cock and leg. mmmm pre-cum.) anyways it’s official i will no longer ever shamelessly throw myself at zach, and besides i think he’s maybe seeing someone named Tim. and he’s a taurus one, our best match up is in a working relationship.

so goodbye humiliation, or maybe thats a little hasty, no more humiliation in front of Zach, i will only humiliate myself for guys who can put their money , i mean their cocks where my mouth is.

BGA.

So i just finished watching the dvd for the first season of americas next top model. It must be said that Tyra Banks, though pretty much retarded, took a very active role in the show and made big effort to aid her troop of young girls to realise their dreams as haute gamme fashion models. unfortunately she was setting most of them up for dissapointment cause save for three none of the ten had any potential beyond playing hoochie number 1, 2 or maybe 3 in a fiddy (per)Cent video.
ok julie just got home i’ll finish this post later.
bga

So yesterday, I came back on to this hunk of junk blog putter online thing and it ate my whole entry which was a comprehensive analysis of ANTM, which all things considered is pretty weak. SO i have decided to approach the technological vandelism i have been a victim of as a blessing in ugly non model material clothes.   I wont go into detail about how i wanted Elyse to win, or how infuriating it is to listen to a hypocritical self rightious born again christian wax on about morality(robin) and i will skip to Tyra.

Tyra, Tyra, Tyra….. is she part retarded? I love the criticism she gives: "I think you need to pull your hair back more often, you better watch it, cause a top model knows when to wear a chignion!" or "you’re getting fat, you have to lose some weight"(that one is simple, i just love to watch the ensuing battle for self control as said contestant breaks down and eats the whole tray of brownies, and cries into the video diary booth.) or things like "you have bad skin, you need to work on your facial skin, I want to see improvements by next week."

But my all time faveorite was on season three when they suspected Kassy of being an anorectic bulimic and she confessed to the blind girl (in confidence) that on occassion she forced vomiting, and then blindy spreads the word through the house, and then all the girls ratted her out to Tyra, who kicked her off the show, and then shared some very special moments in bed with her moma, asking if she did the right thing, which of course big moma thought she had, "it was very christian of you Tyra… to judge a girl for problems others say has, anorexics get to be skinny they don’t deserve the oportunity to get out of being a small town stripper for the rest of their lives"

regardless i want to be on season five. If they can have plus size models, and blind people, why not a hairy boy. I bet i look dime in those gowns.

bga